Day 2 of My Clear Liquid Diet

Hello all, as most of you know I am having surgery next Thursday. The Gastric Sleeve, Removing my Gallbladder, and Repairing my Umbilical Hernia. I have to do a full week for clear sugar-free liquids in order to soften my liver so my doctor can safely move it in order to get to my stomach. I started my week of clear fluids yesterday, Feb. 17,2011 and am handling it one day at a time. I did very well yesterday and have started out today the same- except I decided to have my 1 protein shake later today than I did yesterday- so I had it today when I started to feel hungry, not first thing in the morning. Gum is seeming to be my best friend during this pre-op diet just so I have something to chew on. It is hard to see food right now. Like when I made Bryson and Kelsey's food in the past I would take a bite of it so that has taken some extra effort not to do that. Roland also picked up a pizza for the 4 of them and I've never seen a pizza look so GOOD!! I just got me a cup of chicken broth and decided to excuse myself from eating with them. I was at mom's house yesterday too and she was cooking up something that smelled tasty, made my mouth water!! And right now, I made the kiddo's some chicken nuggets for lunch, and normally I wouldn't even notice, but it smells so GOOD lol. Oh AND I was practically hovering over my protein shake this morning b/c my little vultures wanted some, so I had to make them some hot chocolate to get them to back off (and now Bryson insisted on eating out of a cup b/c that's all he is seeing me eat out of). With that said.... I keep this in mind... I am changing my thought process and I say there's no need torturing myself, I have made the decision to have this done and I will stand by that till the end but I also don't see the need for temptation if it can be avoided, Right?
      I cannot believe the amazing opportunity I am getting being able to have the Gastric Sleeve. I attempted this in Dec. w/o much thought and research on it. My doctor told me he could do it as early as Dec. 30th if I wanted to... So I attempted to start a pre-op liquid diet the day before Christmas Eve. I WAS NOT ready, mentally or physically. I hadn't done much research other than the fact that it removes some of the stomach, and I also didn't have any of the foods/liquids I was allowed to have in my house. So, I was sitting there starving that whole day and began doubting myself. Then, I sat down and really thought about what I was doing. I decided I needed to wait. One, b/c I was not prepared. and Two, I had my COMPASS test coming up for school on Jan 13th that was a big deal for me to pass... well needless to say I didn't get the score I wanted on the test by 1 point so I had to wait another 30 days before I could take it again... which was yesterday- long story short... I got not only the 1 point I needed but I got 2!! YAY! So anyways, I have that behind me and can now focus on my surgery.
      I have done so much research since Dec. I have watched many, many YouTube Videos and finally found this message board where all of your information has truly been a blessing. I have also put my surgery in God's hands. This is actually the first time I have just prayed about something and told myself it is what is it, and it will be what it will be. I will continue to put my process in God's hands and continue to pray for strength through my journey. 
        So where I am mentally right now is.... I am very excited, but am nervous. I am nervous about being put to sleep and not waking back up. I have my two kids I have to be around for and wouldn't want anything to jeopardize that. I do not think this fear will impact my decision whatsoever its just something that sits in my head a lot. I am an over thinker sometimes so I'm probably doing that in this situation too. But of course the twist is that.... Mom is a CRNA! She puts people to sleep everyday! But she doesn't do anesthesia on family and that's fine with me. But she does work with the people that will be in my OR so they will take Specially Great care of me because of me being her daughter. And I have had major surgery before, 2 c-sections with B and Kels, BUT I was AWAKE during these surgeries, that's what makes it different. But anyways, I think that's all of an update I have right now so the final thing I ask is for all of your prayers.  

P.S. I haven't put up my weight yet intentionally- but I will soon and maybe even some pics when I have a good "loss" picture to go with it  lol